I had a very vivid dream last night. I was on an old boat. It was once a minesweeper but now reconditioned as a deep-sea vessel. We were on a very choppy sea in deep coastal waters on the very edge of a continental shelf. The waves were very clear and vivid and it seemed that they mirrored the deep valleys and peaks below. There was the lonesome cries of seagulls in the distance and the wild wind howling around the superstructure of the ship.
We were on the way to a funeral for a guy who was going to die that night. He was dressed in full motorbike leathers with an old 60s type helmet and easy rider sunshades. He was sitting and revving a huge bike on the bridge of the shop. At the appointed hour of his death, he would do a wheelie and ride overboard and dive to the bottom of the ocean where he would keep on riding until his flesh dissolved and he turned into a skeleton. At the same time, another part of him would land on the highest peak of the seabed below and stay there forever watching over and looking out for other riders and deep sea divers and people who came into his domain.
During the dream, I was having a conversation with someone with a very English accent and we were discussing the pros and cons of atheist AA. We were discussing inductive nd deductive reasoning and ad hominem arguments. Guess which side I took!
The image of the waves, especially their turbulent nature as well as the sense of great depth underneath them, stayed with me for the rest of the day. They are relevant to what’s going on for me at the moment.
I have mentioned my feet several times in previous posts. Well, things are getting worse, not better. The pain is now dominating my experience and bleaching out, to some extent, my being on this trip. I saw a doctor at an international health clinic a few days ago but the result was unsatisfactory. The pain is getting worse. I thought about my options but I really only have one left, to postpone my trip and return to Dublin immediately and see my own GP.
My journey is restricted by visa entry and exit dates as well as tickets I bought months in advance for journeys which only occur weekly or are sold out quickly. Because of this, I need to make up my mind fairly soon as to what I intend to do or I will have serious problems. Luckily, I took out travel and health insurance and this will cover any change in plans, otherwise, this would be expensive.
On reflection, this is not such a bad thing. I am on the road for almost seven weeks now. Due to the intensity of my way of travel, it feels like seven months and Dublin seems a long way away, physically and metaphorically. I had underestimated the strain of all the moving around but I’m not sure if this is the pain talking. I’m fairly resilient and possibly could happily keep going on for months and allowing my brain to interpret any stress or strain as adventure and excitement. The presence and persistent nature of the pain is interfering with this process as well as severely limiting my movement and thereby negating my very reason for being here.
There are also other complications making it easier to make a decision to postpone my trip. These are to do with my business. I thought I had left everything neat and tidy and was hoping that there would be no problems. A few of these ends have unravelled and are taking an increasing amount of time to sort out. Being back in Dublin would make it easier to solve the problems before they get worse. And then there’s my accountant. He’s hassling me to get paperwork to him. I thought I could do it on the road but this isn’t happening. I’d rather chew a lump of rusty glass than look at a bank statement or, worst of all, a spreadsheet. Even the thought of it makes my brain melt. Try telling that to the taxman though.
So, reflecting on reflections, as you do, my only real option is to fly home this week.
This is not a cancellation, just a postponement. I will complete he journey next year, possibly in the Autumn when it’s not too hot and there’s some snow on the ground. I will fly to Moscow and catch a train to Astana and continue on the Silk Road to Venice and then fly back to Dublin. I will also limit the trip to six to eight weeks. Any more than that is over-stimulation, I think.
As this trip was far more about the inner journey than the external one, I’m glad to notice how I’m responding to this sudden change in my plans. I’m completely accepting of the whole thing and feeling very laid back and sanguine. Arriving at this destination is far more important than arriving at any border post or new city. It’s the reason I travel.
So, to Dublin in a few days for more adventures.